Seasonal Changes

Simone Yasmin Avatar

Do you know how it feels to feel elated?
To feel so full with laughter and pictures and sunshine,
full to the brim of sand between your toes
and the marks of awkward tan lines resting on your collar bones
and bum cheeks.
We all get that feeling, when the sun is shining
and we’re quick to strip off and reveal all.
Seek some cool from this heat and wear our heart on
not long sleeves but our bare arms
as we bare it all.
Quick to ask a mate to go for a drink;
beer gardens and cigarette smiles,
as we drink away our worries.
The sun really has that effect see:
drink away your worries,
drown them out,
dance to the beat of the sun rays,
until you almost forget them.
Forget why you’re drinking
and what you’re running from.
But catch a glimpse of your reflection in the bottom of that beer glass,
and it all comes flooding back.
But it’s okay because you’ve got the sun wrapped around you,
with warm tight kisses
and not the cold clutches of darker days.
And yes, people say the skies are lighter,
but really, they should shout that
your head feels lighter
because your mind has no internals fights and
those sun rays really do bring delight.

So, I know you know how it feels to be elated,
when that sun is burning bright;
but the greatest advice I ever heard,
was to expect a down after every spout of euphoria.
Because life can’t always go up
and you must start in the lows to get to the highs.
And cliché I know, but it’s a rollercoaster so
heed that advice and expect a down
after every spout of euphoria.
And that person wasn’t talking about the rain
but as it pours down on darker days,
you remember that bright sun was never permanent,
the rays were never here to stay.
And seasons come and seasons go,
yes, it’s a cycle;
so, you’re no longer in beer gardens
baring it all,
because it’s cold outside
and you can see the particles of your breath
as you breathe.
So, you think more about every word you say,
and those bits of your soul which before crept out,
you force to stay away.
And dark nights,
mean you see your reflection in every shop window
and reflect more internally on those conflicts
which ceased to exist
in the sunshine.
And you outstretch your palms
but only the cold touches you;
and I think we internalise our surroundings,
internalise those settings,
until you feel that cold blue inside your heart.
So, you lift your heart off your arm,
and long sleeves are not even enough to keep it warm.
So, you force it back down inside,
locking your ribs and armour
and the walls around it.

Do you know what it feels like to feel deflated?
Well, if you know elated,
you must know deflated,
because the two come as a pair
and you never truly know one without the other,
never really appreciate one without the other.

Seasons come and seasons go
and as these seasons change,
you can’t let your feelings be seasonal
and I’m not being unreasonable.
You should change with the moon,
but not with the sun,
because that moon comes out every night,
but when skies are dark,
you can’t see that sunlight,
and you’re left searching for
something to fill that gaping sun-sized hole in your chest.
Something to make you feel full
with laughter and pictures and sunshine.
But, once you place that emphasis,
on the bright skies and long days,
then nothing can satisfy.
Once you place that emphasis on the season,
you will find no other reason
to smile.

Seasons change,
so, don’t let your feelings smile with the summer
and cry with the winter,
because there are always some dark days in the warmth
and some warm nights in the darkness.
And, this unpredictable nature will leave your mind shattered,
and it doesn’t work like clockwork,
so, you can’t rely on the light to make you feel alright.
And, yes, I’m talking about seasons,
summer and winter,
yes, I’m telling you not to place that power to make or break you,
in a sentiment.
But poetry is always a metaphor for something bigger,
so metaphorically speaking, I’m saying,
don’t give someone that power to make or break your day,
or look for someone to uplift your spirits.
Don’t rely on seasons, or people, or objects,
and you shouldn’t need affection,
appreciation and attention,
to find your smile.

Change like the seasons,
but don’t change because of the seasons.
Have your own reasons,
and make them personal,
because you’ve got to protect that one person,
that is you.

And yes, poetry is always a metaphor for something bigger;
but even this metaphor is a metaphor for something bigger.
And so really, I’m telling you,
not to place that power outside of you.

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